Watch TED X with Brené Brown:
There was nothing more defeating than the moment my mom passed. I took it personal. It was absolutely self-defeating. My world as I knew it to be and I to be shattered in that single moment. It also exposed me and my vulnerability. I learned more about my vulnerable self as those days went on without mom – aka THE ROCK.
I got to thinking and you know what?? I am not as tough as I believe! I saw how I didn’t allow room to be vulnerable. I was hiding, but ahh shit got real. It’s when you think you are not vulnerable and only strong that it hits you harder. Fair warning peeps. I am officially vulnerable AF. Proof? Just look back on my posts. You can see I’ve opened up in a big way. I never saw that coming. I never imaged that I would willingly and openly share a veryy personal journey.
Providing vulnerability a space within me is also the reason why I am here. It is freeing and comforting to be with others who are just as honest and vulnerable. I found strength in being real. I found strength in confronting then avoiding. It is probably the bravest thing I did for myself. I also found strength in knowing that what I share could possibly open up someone else’s eyes, comfort them and even help them in some way. I’m certainly learning from my experience with death and it’s coming for everyone whether you like it or not, and so if there is any reason to be here with me – it would be that! We all got to go through it!
I listened in to this vulnerability TED X talk and it got me stirred up.
I found this part ringing with such truth for me...
“And one of the ways we deal is we numb vulnerability.
One of the things that I think we need to think about
is why and how we numb.
And it doesn't just have to be addiction.
The other thing we do is we make everything that's uncertain certain.
The more afraid we are, the more vulnerable we are.”
Well, I can’t hide anymore. We crave certainty, but now anything that was certain has taken an uncertain twist. I am certain that I am here within this experience. However, the uncertainty that crept in allowed a freedom to see myself/the world I live in with much more vulnerability & openness. I will evolve and that much is certain. I didn’t know what exactly this page meant for me outside of grief/mom, but I realized it is more about my self-evolution through the lenses of loss, change, living life with the unexpected turns and grief. Mom was the catalyst to my evolution, so this is my intro-story and you got the front row seats as I learn and grow through life’s messiness. Hope we cross paths @pearlzrandomness.
[See post on: PARADIGM SHIFT]
This is my story... what got you vulnerable enough to make a shift?
Comments