💭Tomorrow marks an entire year gone after my moms passing. I can’t believe that it still comes to me with an unexpected jolt. She is no longer apart of this world. Where can you be? Is there another place? Are you doing ok and happier now? I cringe at the thought that it’s been a year and you’re not back yet? How can this be? I sometimes wish upon the sky and universe to be able to see you once again in some form or another ahhh look at the bird ..can it be? Gosh I’m silly, but seriously it feels so real at the same time. Where have my thoughts taken me? It can’t be.

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Here I am today making big decisions of how to get by and raise my family when it was supposed to be you all along here with me in this life. How is this even happening? This is not normal even though realities face has shown me otherwise. I feel numb and in so much pain all at the same time. Grief is such a complicated day to day process. I also learned it is different from person to person but also universal. I find that fascinating and that there should be more awareness around the experience so others not grieving can help along. Let’s just say.. it’s not your typical break up remedy and help that’s needed. It’s far more complicated and excruciating. I for ☝🏼 never experienced such an influx of emotional chaos so I was on for an unexpected ride. I know now I want to use my pain for the betterment of the grieving process.

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A year later also marking that I did make it through somehow. I’m still here and stronger then ever. I’m completely changed and different, but I’m still here. I’m going to figure it out because I AM my mother’s daughter. I know she wouldn’t want it any other way. I live on without you - for you. Love you MA! I so much wish that my words are not just written and spoken in vain and that somehow it finds you beyond the sky to know that you are so loved and apart of my everyday life 💕 💭 Pearlz✨💁🏽‍♀️ Follow me in this journey

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